Before Caleb left and knowing the typical bad choices of his biological father, I had a heart to heart conversation with Caleb that went something like this...
Me: Buddy, what did the doctor just say you had?
Caleb: Strep Throat
Me: So, because of this you are going to need extra rest. Is playing hockey and skateboarding a form of rest? And should you be staying up super late?
Caleb: No
Me: Well, why do we need rest?
Caleb: So our body can heal and grow?Me: Yes, Buddy! But who says so? Who says we need rest? Does Mommy just make this up?
Caleb: I don't know
Me: God says it in His Word. He even rested and tells us we need rest. So, what do you think you are going to need lots of this weekend?
Caleb: Rest!
Me: Great! I don't want you to come home Sunday morning and say how tired you are... I want you to be rested and feeling better!
So, what are some of the first words out of his mouth before a "Happy Mother's Day?" - "I'm so tired!" The tiredness continued throughout the day... I had one cranky boy on my hands who was doing everything in his power to stay awake.
The day continued with some craziness. As we all got in the car to head to church, it would not start. We tried jumping it, and it didn't work. We then called Honda service and tried several other antics to no avail. My parents picked us up so we could at least enjoy our planned Mother's Day downtown, which was so nice. Just as the day started to turn around after a lovely lunch and walked in the park, we headed home sweet home where the drama began again. I asked Caleb if we could sit down and figure out his birthday plans and wishes for the week. I was sure to include some time with biological father in there, but Caleb was quickly frustrated and upset on how it was all working out. The next thing I know he was hysterical crying, "I can't do this! I can't do this! I don't want to do this anymore!" We then explained that this is all new and will take some time to get used of, but he has a decade left before he's 18 which threw him into even more hysterics. We finally settled him down and eventually got him off to bed. It was quite the adventure!
A few hours after that, I myself crawled into bed and found myself crying the same thing as my heart was break for my boy and his heart and all the weekend had held for him. My cry went to the Lord with tears streaming down my cheeks, "I can't do this! I can't do this Lord! I can't spend the next ten years doing this!" It was actually refreshing to find myself in a spot of full surrender and admittance that I had no strength to endure this.
I knew right then I was in the best place possible - the place where HIS perfect strength could take over in my weakness, a place where HIS grace was more than sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9-10), a place where I could rest and abide and find HIM alone as my source (John 15:5).
I felt a calm over me and though to myself, "Oh, good! I can just rest and survive the next ten years." That was when I heard His voice, His quiet sweet voice that He spoke right to me, "Christie, I didn't come to die that you may survive, but that you may live... life abundant!" and instantly the following scripture ran through my mind, heart, and soul:
"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."
John 10:10b
With the knowledge that my plans for the next day were changing by the minute as my car was scheduled to be towed first thing, I have no clue what the next ten years may hold. What I do know it that God intends for me to have life abundant - life to the full! My Mother's Day may have had a rough start, but it ended with my boys sweetly tucked in bed, my amazing husband curled up next to me, a wonderful house, pantry stocked, the love of friends and family, and a gentle whisper reminding me of the powerful Words of God that my life would be abundant!
4 comments:
Excellent post. I can relate to the hectic Mother's Day, and pouring my heart out to the Lord that night as well. Isn't it cool that He's encouraging our hearts at the same general time but miles apart :).
Amen to that Mary! Our God is amazing!
beautifully said, Christie. Did the Accapella song run through your head too? :o) God's grace is sufficient, keep trusting in Him.
I love it that more than anything you are obedient. Even when you don't realize it. You took the time to give to the father (obedience)and allowed yourself to receive and feel his comforting words. Love you sister!
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