Recently, the Lord has not only brought this prayer to my attention, but challenged my heart to truly believe that God can meet my needs in this area. Last night was Caleb's first overnight, unsupervised visitation with his biological father in over a year and half. Just the day before the visit, we were in the doctor's office, and he was diagnosed with strep throat (again), which has been a constant struggle for him over the past year. For this Mom, that would mean lots of rest, healthy food, and an overload of some good ole' TLC as he enjoyed his twice a day dose of Rx for the next ten days. But instead, I found myself the very next day, standing at my front door and watching him pull away for someone else to care for him.
Fast forward through some good details and a chunk of what turned into a crazy day for me, and you will find me crawling into bed around 11:20 pm. Just as I turned to Mark to mention that I thought it would be good to keep my phone volume on all night (I usually turn it off before I head to dreamland), it rang... and Caleb's name was on my caller ID. Within a millisecond various thoughts raced through my mind... I didn't know whether to be excited that my son was thinking of me and calling, or to panic as it was approaching midnight and it didn't make sense that my "baby" was still awake, especially since just hours before we were informed of the strep. Thankfully, he was just calling to say hello. He told me about his day and their current plans to head back to his father's home (which happens to be in one of the worst parts of North Charleston) and stay up to watch at least half of a PG-13 rated movie.
Here I was, on the other end of the phone wanting to tuck him in and give him the rest he needed, but I couldn't. I wanted to protect all those senses from a very inappropriate movie, but I couldn't. I just wanted everything to be the way I imagined way back when I started my family, and here I was sharing my son. Thanks to God's Word and all the prayers of friends, I felt such peace about Caleb's protection for this whole weekend. I wasn't quite worried about him, but instead felt that incredible peace that passes understanding. However, my heart was another story... I wanted to give Caleb what was best for him, but I couldn't. I had to "accept the things I could not change."
Throughout life, we will consistently face situations that we cannot change... whether they be the traffic you find yourself sitting in, a loved one dying of cancer, or the sharing of your baby. The amazing thing God is present during all of this. We can choose to fight against our situation, or accept it by His grace. Yes, His all sufficient grace - available at all times, enough for us at all times. I am sure in the future I will be faced with many more of these situations and many others that I cannot change as well. The question is - will I surrender to Him and His will and trust Him completely? Only by His grace!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.