Sunday, May 1, 2011

Cell Phones and Hearts

Recently I sat down with Caleb and shared with him my first cell phone experience - I was 17 years old and wanted a cell phone; my parents reminded me that I was working and could get one myself. So I did! After a year of large payments, my contract was finally up, and I decided that I was done with a cell phone. A week later my car broke down on my drive home from work and in the dark of the night I had to walk the rest of the way home. The cool thing is that I survived!
Upon the completion of my story (and pointing some of the lessons of the story out to him), I informed Caleb that we were on our way to get him a cell phone. Despite the fact that I would have never thought that getting my almost 8 year old a cell phone was a good idea, with my current divorced situation, we have decided it is best. We gave Caleb the cell phone with lots of rules and guidelines that we felt appropriate, but also a good amount of freedom. Years ago I read the book Parenting with Love and Logic, and it is truly paying off. After making a few of his first calls with a glow on his face, Caleb started to make "plans" with what he would do next with his phone. He suddenly expressed that he wanted to call his friends Tony and Elayne (names changed to protect some innocence- hee hee). At this point I was extremely thankful that I didn't need to wait for a burning bush to hear from God because I needed some wisdom quick - my baby boy who was only in 2nd grade was wanting to call a girl!?!?! I somehow calmly responded and shared with Caleb that a girl's heart is given by God to her parents, specifically to her Daddy, for protection. I also shared that one-on-one talking would definitely access a girl's heart. So if he was interested in talking with a girl on the phone he would have to ask her parents, specifically her Dad, for permission to do so. He responded with an "Oh Wow! Mom, I'll have to think about that!"
I felt relieved and thought (key word: thought) I was in the clear. Well, at the end of that week, we happened to have a sleepover with Tony, and the next morning both of his parents and his sister, Elayne, came to pick him up. Caleb asked Tony's Mom for her number so he could talk with Tony. After giving it to him, she said, "Caleb, I will have to give you Elayne's too." At that point Caleb turned to me and just stared as to see what I would say. I then explained that Caleb would have to ask Elayne's Dad permission for that before he could have the number. At that point Elayne's Dad exclaimed, "Oh Caleb, go ahead and ask me buddy... no problem!" I thought for sure this would ruin everything - he had a green light from the Dad. But it was amazing - Caleb turned to him and respectfully said, "I'm not ready to ask that." At that point we decided that if he wasn't ready to ask then he certainly wasn't ready to talk to a girl on the phone.
For all my children, I hope for relationships that brings together two hearts - whole hearts... unbroken, accessed, or defiled... pure!

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