Last week I found myself hysterical crying in the doctor's office at the thought of my sweet baby born too early and being rushed off to the NICU to be poked and proded. This week I find myself excited about Zachary's arrival. However, this change did not occur because of the time lapse that has me so close to 37 weeks. The changed actually occurred last Thursday... the same day. My morning started with tears, but it ended with peace. The Lord grew my faith.
At the doctor's report, I found my thoughts taking me for a ride. I delayed to take my thoughts captive causing fear and worry. I had worse case scenarios rushing through my mind. I suddenly found my hope in a date of my baby's birth, a NICU doctor, and anything else I could conjure up to relieve my pain. The sweet nurses spent some time trying to reassure me as well. However,a call to my husband was what started me back to stable ground from my sinking sand. He reminded me of God's faithfulness and challenged where I was putting my hope and faith. Those questions hit hard and sunk in deep. The Lord brought His Living Word to my mind...
Philippians 4:6-7 (TLB)
"6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. 7 If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus."
My thought life turned to thanksgiving and prayer. It was amazing how my heart began to change, how my worry turned to excitement, because I knew Zachary's Creator, the God who formed Him with a plan and purpose, who loves him even more than I do, is in control. I still fully understood that a NICU stay was possible, but my faith led me to a place of peace with that. I was covered with grace. My hope was back where it needed to be - In Christ Alone!
This week I have still found myself having to grab my thoughts that were trying to get away from me, but simply praying and reminding myself that God is able, that He is faithful and laying it all back down at the cross has allowed this time to be full of anticipation and excitement because before we know it, Zachary will be here, I will be cradling him in my arms and constantly remind of what an amazing God I serve!
PS A special thank you to every friend who said a prayer... I truly believe the power of prayer kept sweet Baby Zach in me this whole week.
An oldie, but a goodie...
- My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus Christ, my righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
- On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
In Him, my righteousness, alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.