Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Safe in His Arms

Today was one of those days... you know, a day where your life turns upside down and God then has to turn in right side up again. I cried and threw a pity party for a good 20 minutes, but then I got off the emotional train and started reminding myself of TRUTH. You see, I have this amazing love letter, written to me from the Lover of my soul, the One who made me, my Creator. I can share all the dramatic details, but I have already been asked to write a book by many friends, but not by a publisher, so instead I will just share the most important part - what I have learned....

1. RUN to God! (don't walk or crawl - run)
- After I got this most disturbing phone call, I hung up and literally burst into tears. My next normal step would have been to phone a friend, but I didn't. I cried out to God. Although the comfort of friends is amazing (and I'll get to that), nothing beats the whisper "I'm right here" from the One who knows the beginning to the end and is in control of all things.

2. Emotion is okay, but don't stay there
- When I say cry, I mean weep. I know when God made me, He didn't mess up when He gave me tear ducts or emotions, so it was okay to feel sad and angry and scared and frustrated. But once I started to breathe, I realized that I needed to RESPOND. I refused to stay angry and scared and frustrated and decided to lead my heart to truth. God's Word. I started to quote scripture and slowly, very slowly, the truth set me free. His Word is the ultimate truth that we can choose to believe or we can believe the whispering of the enemy. I chose truth... eventually my heart and emotions followed.

3. Relinquish Control... and leave it there
- Me and control - a constant battle. I'll conquer for a moment or for a specific area of my life, but I am quickly learning that I need to do this daily in all areas. I may think I'm in control of some situations, but I'm really not anyway. So easy to say, so hard to do... but so necessary, and freeing. I know the God of the universe has got it. He promises He has great plans for me and for all those who love Him. He promises to work all things out for good. I kept reminding myself that I cannot see all and know all, but HE can. I just need to trust.

4. God's Love is Poured Out Through People
- When I finally made a call, it was to Mark. I left a message on His vm, but due to the crying he couldn't understand it. So, our already planned lunch date (thank you Jesus for knowing I would need my husband at exactly 1 pm today and already settting aside time for us). He just sat there and listened and prayed. I then talked to two of the amazing Women's Pastors at Seacoast, and they, too, listened and prayed. Then, several awesome family/friends in my life just happened by in person and via the phone. Again, more love and prayers. It was amazing that I ran to God and He sent people... People to point me right back to Him. Ahhhh, such assurance. I do appreciate any person in my life who tells me it's going to be okay, but often people that don't truly know the amazing God that runs the universe say that with empty hope, versus knowing that they can have true hope in the Word of the One who loves us more than we'll ever know.

5. GRACE for the Moment
- My "through the Bible in a year" Bible is by Max Lucado and entitled "Grace for the Moment Bible." That is exactly how I felt today. At some point in my day I got the picture of a storm, a down pour, a hurricane, a miserable storm. When it's dark and raining that hard you cannot see far ahead or move fast or barely breathe, but if you take it step by step, breath by breath, moment by moment, you make it through the storm. Today, grace was given to me moment by moment. I felt the prayers of the few family and friends that "happened" to call or that I specifically went to for prayer. That peace that doesn't make sense was on me and still is. I feel great.

6. Do Good
- As the day went on I started to feel better and better mostly because I stood on the truth that God loves me and has totally got this as a part of His plan. I don't need to understand "Why." I just need to trust and respond as He calls me to. So, with this news I've decided to do good to the one who is causing harm in my life right now. I've been thinking up gifts all evening and am actually smiling and getting excited about it.

Long story short - I'd rather be in GOD's will than resisting it, so if this is part of God's plan and I really do trust Him, I want to be IN IT! So, here I am... broken, hurt, running to God, trusting, forgiving, praying, relinquishing myself and jumping into His plan. Here I am Lord, use me!

Philippians 1:21 - "...To live is Christ..."

1 comment:

Laura said...

Wow! Great post! I believe you and I are quite similar in our struggles. Thanks for the post and its reassurance!

BTW, glad to be connected to you! I look forward to getting to know you more! :)