Just Because I Love You

Tonight was Caleb's Birthday Eve. As bedtime approached, you could sense the excitement for the big day tomorrow - his 7th birthday. In addition to sensing it, we all knew it from the silliness emanating from my boy. Long story short, the sillies came out a bit too much and a consequence had to be given - off to bed he went. After a long day of diapers, baking cupcakes, baseballs games, cleaning, cooking, and more, I was relieved to relax on my couch and put my feet up. However, I could hear a quiet whimper travelling from the direction of his room. My Mommy break was over; I headed his way.
When I got to his room, I sat on his bed and leaned over my "big boy" who was laying tummy down. I was suddenly sharing his tears as I pressed my cheek to his. He peered up and said, "I don't deserve any birthday presents!" It was late; I was tired; however, I dare not miss this opportunity for a teachable moment. I could have gone down the road of pride with the little pity party; I could have agreed in a frustration and anger; I could have stayed silent... but I didn't. I said, "Buddy, I am not giving you presents because of what you do, but because I love you... and I don't love you based on what you do... I love you because you are my son. I am giving you presents to show you my love."
As those words rang back in my own ears, I could hear my Heavenly Father repeat those same words. God doesn't love us because of what we do - nope, can't earn His love. And He doesn't stop loving us when we mess up. He loves us because we are His children. And to show us that love, He gave us the ultimate present - eternity in Heaven with Him when you accept his gift of grace. It's offered through the death of Jesus on the cross when He paid the penalty for our sin.
As Caleb accepts all his birthday presents tomorrow, I hope he truly feels my love for him.

HIS Love = My Security

This weekend I was incredibly blessed while dealing with my insecurities thanks to Beth Moore's Simulcast... "So Long, Insecurity!" There were six points she made:
S - Saved from Herself
E - Entitled to Truth
C - Clothes with Intention
U - Upended by Grace
R - Rebounded by Love
E - Exceptional in Life

But the thing that struck me most through the day was God's overwhelming, undying love for me. I've always known about God's love for me... enough that He would send His only Son to die in my place. However, this weekend the one fact became so real to me - no matter what I've done, no matter I do, HE WILL NEVER STOP LOVING ME! I have heard the term unconditional love before and have even been told I possess some of it, but let me tell you - I don't have it for everyone. There are certain things that people do that I choose not to love them. Yet, I serve this God who has an unconditional, never-ending love for every one of us, His creation, that no matter what will always be available. I find this love to be indescribable.
I have discovered this weekend that, if nothing else, I can have full security in love. The next time someone does something to you that cause you to choose not to love... or next time you do something that makes you momentarily not the easiest to love, know that there is a God that never stops loving YOU!

Some other highlights from Beth...

• HE is the wildest ride you will ever take!
• Victory or defeat resides in the mind
• HE has proven.
• Put off old, put on new
• Our biggest enemy is often our own insecurity
• Insecurity is a form of pride
• I am loved, valued, and esteemed by God!
• Don't manage a stronghold in your life - Be FREE!
• If you have a heart that does not heal, it hardens
• You cannot run Him off!
• Everything always comes back to love
• We have a need for significance
• Be the exception!!

And one more personal thought from me... If God wanted us to consistently look at our outward selves, He would have created us with a built in mirror. Instead see yourself through the Creator's eyes!

Half a Christian

Caleb came home from school today with a new book from the school library entitled Twisted Journeys.

 Upon first glance I was not too thrilled, but you know what they say - never judge a book by it's cover. So, I started to flip through and look at the content. Well, my assumption was correct. Although this book was written for his age and reading level it was filled with evil. I asked Caleb if the book would make Jesus happy and he said, "No." I then told him he could not read the book. He then explained that a friend of his at school was reading another book in the series and that they were going to switch when they were done. I explained to Caleb that he could ask the boy to read a different series like Magic Tree House, but Caleb shared that he had already asked about that series and the little boy insisted on this one. I explained to Caleb that we are supposed to be a light to those that are not Christians. He then shared that this boy was a Christian. So I questioned him by asking, "How do we know someone is a Christian?" and since there was no answer I explained that we know that by their actions. Caleb then said, "I think he is half a Christian."

I pondered this statement for a moment. I wonder how many people in our lives see us as "half a Christian." Do we live completely sold out for the Lord? Can everyone in our lives see Jesus in us all the time - or just half of it? Do the decisions we make - big or little ones - shine a light? Specifically, does our media intake - books, tv, music, movies, etc - say that we are half a Christian?

"So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:16

Three Small Rings, Ponies, Clowns, Elephants, and Thongs???

Last night we took Caleb to the Circus. Three small rings, ponies, clowns, elephants, and thongs??? So we were sitting at the far side... right under the trapeze. The three girls climbed the ladder to take their place in preparation for flying feats, but they revealed a whole new side - literally! Their bottoms! So Caleb turns to me and says something along the lines of...

"Mommy! Can you see that? Their butts are hanging out! I feel like I need to put gum over my eyes."

At that point, I thought is best to explain that it was a costume and just like we wear bathing suits for swimming, acrobats wear costumes to do their flips. He settled a little bit, but I could see how uncomfortable he was. He kept turning, and he knew in his spirit that something was wrong. I turned to my friend and said, "Who would have thought that my son ould be defiled at the Circus!?!" But then I thought more - was it me? I then continued to say with humor and a touch of seriousness, "I guess the bubble I have put him in has popped!" 

So is this it for my 6, almost 7, year old boy? Will he become immune to it? Sensitive to it? Every day men are faced with this challenge as modesty is definitely not a standard in many women. Some have been so exposed to it, they think nothing of it. Others give in and take it to new levels in their mind. Many know my past and how sexual addictions have personally affected me... and I pray that stronghold is broken over my son. So what is best?

Mark and I chatted a bit in bed this morning. I think this may be a good opportunity to teach our son respect for women and how to bounce his eyes. (http://lifestrategies.thingseternal.com/relationships/men/everymansbattle.html) As Mama, I would prefer the bubble, but I know it's best to arm my son with tools to maintain a high standard. I want the best for him! I want him to have a respect for women, and clean mind, and a pure heart!

There's Just Something About That Name

Today was a day I recognized as a challenge. I did my best to lean on my Savior's all sufficient grace and rest peacefully that the sun would come out tomorrow. After a trip to the doctor for both boys and a diagnosis of Strep Throat in Caleb, we headed to the pharmacy where we were faced with insurance mix-ups. I had a hungry infant on one side of the back seat and a 6 year old crying in pain from him inflamed throat on the other side of the back seat. This was no time to be delayed at the pharmacy.

In the midst of all of this I was listening to "His Radio" and the DJ started praying for some prayer requests submitted to the station. Every other line he would say a name of our God - Lord, Father God, etc. I started to think about that and wonder why we do that in our prayers. I know I do the same when I pray and consistently insert the names of my Lord. Then I thought about when I talk to Mark I don't say his name a bunch of times in the same thought - maybe once at the beginning to get his attention... and maybe once more to keep his attention (hee hee), but that's about it. As these thoughts were running through my head, God spoke in His still small voice...

"Because there is POWER in MY NAME."

I think each time I pray and say HIS NAME I will think of it in a new way - I get to say the Name above all names, the Name with power. As the day continued, I found myself humming a familiar tune...

Something About That Name 

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
There's just something about that name
Master, Savior, Jesus
Like the fragrance after the rain

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
There's just something about that name
Master, Savior, Jesus
Like the fragrance after the rain

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Let all heaven and earth proclaim

Kings and kingdoms will all pass away
But there's just something about that name  

It's All in the Name

Sorry for the delay in my blogging. Being 9 months pregnant and sick with a sore throat/cough/cold can take a bit out of you. Whew! But now that I'm feeling better, I am ready and anticipating the arrival of Baby Daniel.

I was laying in bed the other day pondering the meaning of our expected little one's name in relation to the Daniel in the Bible. After digging deep into the book of Daniel through Beth Moore's study (amazing study, btw), there are so many words I would link with that name. The first one would be "integrity." Was Daniel not the most upright man (aside form Jesus, of course)? Although I am sure he had faults, as well all do, I don't think one is recorded anywhere. The other word I was thinking was "faithful." No matter what this man faced, he did not waver in his faith. The list of words can continue... courageous, prayerful, wise, discerning, obedient, and so on. Wow! But do you know what the actual meaning of the name Daniel is?

"God is My Judge"

After thinking about it some more, I thought of how amazing it truly is... Daniel did what he did for ONE - God alone! His integrity was not for the King, his faithfulness was not for his peers from Israel that were dragged to Babylon with him, his courage, his prayers, his obedience - it was all for God alone, his Judge.

I can't help but look at my character and question if my heart is always in the right place. Is who I am because of God alone? I have always loved this quote on character:

"Character is who we are and how we act when no one is watching"

My prayer is that God alone is my focus, the One I desire to please. He is my Judge as well.

HIS Voice... Anticipated

"I will climb up to my watchtower
      and stand at my guardpost.
   There I will wait to see what the Lord says
      and how he will answer my complaint."
                                                          Habakkuk 2:1

So I am one week into my new Women's Bible Study "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shrier. I feel like I have learned so much and am excited about what God will do in my heart over the next 5 weeks. The first day of study challenged us with the question, "Do we anticipate the voice of God?" Wow, was I convicted. Where was my faith? There were so many times in my life, or when I was priviledged to share the burden in someone's else's life, that I stood confident on God's promises to work all things out for good. I knew that He was doing something... that it would be for my good... that it would be for His glory... and I just had to be patient and trust. (Romans 8:28, Genesis 50:20, Jeremiah 29:11)  So why have I never stood on every scripture that He would speak to me? For years I have been missing out due to my own lack of faith.

As I read through the rest of the week's studies and learned more and more about this, my desire grew and grew. I kept thinking that my wonderful husband, Mark, wouldn't go even just one day without speaking to me... how much more does my Lord love me and want to speak to me every day!

As my small group (love those girls) gathered to discuss this, someone shared how often we expect the voice of God to be this thunder in our lives and how we can miss His gentle whispers. I couldn't help but think of God's chosen people, Israel, anticipating their Savior, the King of kings, returning to save them - but they put God in a box... a big beautiful box of royalty, but still a box... by expecting this powerful King to sweep in from the heavens. However, they missed Him... the babe born in a manger, raised as a carpenter's son, spent his days with fisherman, and then humbly dies on a cross. I don't want to miss Him too! It makes me more aware to stand on that watch tower, not as concerned by the armies thundering towards me, but the gentle breeze of HIS VOICE.

Lord, I will wait patiently for You to speak to me... 

with faith that You will, 

ready to listen, 

ready to respond and obey.