This evening we dared to dine after church. It was always tradition for us to go to Saturday night service then go out to dinner afterwards. However, when little Daniel hit that certain age when he no longer liked to be out late and would make that known in pulic, we choose to do dinner at home before service. Forgetting what craziness it could be, we headed to Jim N Nicks (Oh, Heaven in my mouth!) around 8pm. It was crowded and there was a wait; so by the time we were seated, Daniel's patience was already used up.
After a portion of their incredible bread was enjoyed by all (especially Daniel), our food arrived. Daniel's mouth was opened like a little bird, and I could not get his 2nd dinner spooned into him mouth quick enough. (He actually got to eat before church so this was like dessert dinner for him.) The problem was that him and I usually share dinner, so he gets a bite and then I get a bite. However, tonight was different as I ordered the Kitchen Sink Nachos (oh so good!) and felt that was not quite the best dinner for him. He got their incredible homemade Mac and Cheese. That forced me to have to eat mine with my fingers, then wipe my hands, then pick up the fork, then give him a bite. Well, I just could not do this as fast as he desired. He was literally attempting to leap out of his highchair to grab the fork himself. Occassionally he even reached hard enough to grab the fork, but despite what he grabbed, he still was unsuccessful as he just coud not do a good job of feeding himself yet. I made a comment to Mark as this was occuring. I said, "He is so anxious that he is not giving me a chance to provide for Him." Right then it clicked. It was like God whispered in my ear... Do you do that Christie?
I sat there thinking how I would give Daniel exactly what he needed when he needed it. I would not fill his mouth too much that it could hurt him or cause him to choke, and I would not give him too little that it would frustrate him... I'm his Mom and want to give his exactly what is best for him. I also give it to him at the exact time he needs it... I do not shove more food in his mouth before he finishes what he has, not do I just leave him there starving. Just when he finished up his bite, I would give him another.
It made me realize that my Heavenly Father takes care of my provisions in the very same way... often not giving me too much and not allowing me to lack, but giving me just what I need exactly when I need it. The question is - am I fighting for that fork? or peacefully resting and trusting my Father to bless me?